I'm currently using a direct mail postcard purchased from Postcard Mania to publicize my strong desire for a wife. That is undoubtedly a "thinking outside the box" solution to the problem of loneliness, and it may even strike a few people as desperate, so I think I need to explain that card and its contents.
The card says, "I'm looking for a Christian woman for companionship and maybe to share the rest of my life with."
I was thinking that the card used the word, "friendship", and I was a bit ambivalent about the company's choice of that word. Yes, I most certainly want a friend, if by "friend", one means "as opposed to an enemy".
The trouble is that there are books about dating which declare that it is a big mistake to allow a woman to think of one primarily as a therapist or as a friend.
Therapists are the people that their clients talk to about all of their problems, not the people those same people go to when they want to do fun things. Consequently, people find it difficult to develop passionate, amorous feelings for their therapists. Therapists who cross the line and attempt to establish erotic relationships with their patients risk being charged with malpractice. It's somewhat comparable to the way that some hypnotists have been accused of using hypnosis as a means of overriding their clients' free will so they can rape them.
The "just friends" phenomenon is a trap, for men or women who want to be seen as potential lovers. This article addresses that significant problem. It says that one wants to avoid "the friend zone" like the plague.
Women tend to think of the word "platonic" when thinking about the word "friend". Despite the modern term "friends with benefits", people do not generally have sexual intercourse with their friends, no matter how close they may be. They don't marry them.
The reason why people have traditionally taken marriage vows is that there are times in even the best marriages when people feel less than thrilled about their relationships with their spouses. OBVIOUSLY, people need to address such problems when they arise, as they almost inevitably will.
Many people say that marriage is a contract. Certainly, that's true in the legal sense. But it misses the biblical understanding of marriage. The word "covenant" comes closer to the heart of the matter. This link leads to an article called "Does Your Marriage Function As A Contract Or A Covenant?"
When people sign contracts, it's so they can protect their rights. Married people have obligations to one another, but they err when they focus on their rights. They adhere to a self-centered paradigm that has been the death of many marriages.
That said, a marriage based on concealment of unpleasant realities is bound to fail. So what would it mean for a woman to pledge "'til death do us part" to this PARTICULAR man?
It would mean that she would have to deal with the fact that I'm no longer in excellent physical condition. Not that I was ever really a jock or a stud, since I generally preferred intellectual and artistic things to athletic things! However, multiple strokes (four at last count) have pretty much guaranteed that I'll never run a marathon or play on a basketball court again.
There's nothing on the postcard designed for me that talks about my physical disability, so I'm hoping that I will have a chance to point women to this article before we ever meet for a physical date.
If she sends me an e-mail, I'll be able to send her a link to the article, and she'll have no excuse for thinking "ooh, I wasn't prepared for this" when she sees my mobility scooter for the first time.
No comments:
Post a Comment