On 6-10-2016, I visited the Barnes & Noble store in Bellingham. Their WiFi was down, unfortunately, so I had the opportunity to check out some interesting looking books. One was a kind of lined journal, filled with various "writing prompts" (500 altogether). Some were kind of silly, but others struck me as great questions or prompts that could be shared with women I happened to date:
- Do you believe in soul mates?
- What is your definition of a soul mate?
- What do you think you are missing, that prevents you from living life to the fullest?
- Describe your perfect romantic date (scene, setting and person).
- Have you ever felt stuck? What made you feel that way? How did you get "unstuck"? (I would add if you did get unstuck.)
- Name something you would never compromise on. Why?
I liked these questions and prompts, so I thought of a number of my own:
- What did you like most about school?
- What did you like least about school?
- Did you attend public school, private school, or a combination of the two?
- Were you ever home schooled? If so, did you find it beneficial --- or not? What were the pluses and minuses?
- Did you ever have to deal with bullies, as a target of the same? If so, what form did the bullying take, and who did it to you?
- Were you ever a bully? If so, how do you feel about that now?
- How would you comfort or advise a child who was tormented by bullies?
- Can a parent ever bully a child?
- How do you feel about corporal (physical) punishment of a child? Is it ever appropriate? If so, under what circumstances might it be appropriate?
- Did you get good grades?
- What subjects did you do best in?
- What subjects did you do worst in?
- Tell me about your siblings, if you had any. Were they what you wanted or expected them to be?
- Did you get along well with your siblings, or did you fight or have serious conflicts with them?
- Tell me about your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other extended family members. Which extended family members did you like the most? Which extended family members did you like the least? Why?
- Did you have nightmares as a child? If so, did those ever stop, or do you still have them? How often?
- What were holidays like in your home? Are your holiday memories primarily positive, or do the negative memories outweigh the positive ones?
- What holidays are your favorite ones? Why?
- Did your family travel much? Where? How far?
- Do you prefer road trips, air travel, or some other type of travel? Explain your preferences.
- If spouses strongly disagree about important things --- e.g., childcare, finances, sex, food, housekeeping, living arrangements, etc. --- how should those conflicts be resolved?
- If you feared that your marriage was so far gone that you were at risk of separation or divorce, would you see a counselor with your spouse? What would you look for in a marriage counselor?
- What does the word "submission" mean to you, in relation to marriage? Is there any objective basis for your definition of that term? If so, please explain what that basis is.
- Is it ever OK for a woman to commit physical violence against her husband? If so, under what circumstances is it OK for her to do so?
- Talk about what forgiveness means to you. Is there ever an offense so serious that it's "unforgiveable"? Does genuine forgiveness preclude holding people accountable for the future?
- Should a person who wants to be forgiven have to do or say anything to receive forgiveness, or should that person simply take forgiveness for granted?
- Please talk about what promises mean to you. Are there ever any valid reasons for breaking promises? If so, what would constitute a valid reason for breaking a promise?
If my marketing campaign to meet women for actual dates succeeds, and if they provide me with their e-mail addresses, I may very well suggest that they read this blog post and think of their own answers. It should be interesting, as an exercise in "values clarification", and as a possible way to highlight incompatibilities.
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