When it comes to the role of women in relationships, the available views span the gamut.
On the extremely right wing Christian side, there are those who subscribe to a philosophy known as Quiverfull. Wikipedia says, "Quiverfull is a movement among some conservative fundamentalist Christian couples, chiefly in the United States, but with some adherents in Canada, Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom and elsewhere. It sees children as a blessing from God and promotes procreation, abstaining from all forms of birth control, including natural family planning and sterilization."
Are children a blessing from God? Certainly, they are --- if one is comparing that view with the racist eugenics philosophy espoused by Margaret Sanger, who was quoted as saying that the most loving thing a person could do to a child was to kill it.
However, despite the paranoid view that overpopulation is so severe that women are now obliged to get abortions or get sterilized, there is still enough of a population issue that I see no logical reason why people ought to feel obliged to bear children. If a man decides to get a vasectomy because he's thought long and hard about issues pertaining to procreation, and decided that he no longer wishes to be a father, he ought to feel free to do so.
The sexism of the Quiverfull movement is illustrated by this quote from the web site for a group called Quiverfull Daughters: "Girls are born for one and only one reason: to serve a husband. In that capacity, as his helpmeet, she will bear and raise his children, feed as many children as God sends on whatever income he earns, may raise a garden and animals or run a home-based business [with his approval], may home birth and will certainly homeschool all of her children."
Submission in the context of marriage should be understood in the light of the verse saying "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." (Ephesians 5:21). In other words, the idea that the woman's SOLE reason for existence is to serve the husband is nonsense. Yes, God created women because men needed helpmeets --- but that didn't mean that women had no intrinsic value, even if they chose not to ever get married!
On the other end of the spectrum is the radical feminist views of women such as Andea Dworkin, who was an obese lesbian. (She almost certainly never shaved her legs.)
In the Wikipedia article about the book entitled "Intercourse", you'll read about her infamous statement to the effect that all heterosexual sex is rape. In all fairness to her, the book did include a line to the effect that "violation" was a synonym for intercourse --- but she denied that she'd said that ALL straight sex was tantamount to violation. Rather, if one believes Wikipedia (versus some of the more critical articles about her), she meant that straight sex should never put a woman into a subordinate position in which the needs and desires of the man counted for much, and in which the needs and desires of the woman counted for nothing.
Unfortunately, Andrea Dworkin's radical feminism led her to endorse legal abortion.
If "misogyny" is a term for hatred of women, and if "misandry" is a term for hatred of men, what's the appropriate term for hatred of prenatal human life? How does it "empower" women to misdirect their anger at men at the helpless little preborn people within their wombs?
Friday, July 15, 2016
Friday, June 24, 2016
My Prayer Tonight
Lord, you have spoken through your Word, saying that you would give people the desires of their hearts if they sought to honor you. Specifically, Psalm 37:4 says, "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."
If you know anything about me, you know that the desire of my heart is to be blessed with a loving wife. If she is easy on the eyes, I will feel doubly blessed --- but I understand that physical beauty is meaningless unless it's complemented by inner beauty.
Therefore, please take the seeds I have sown in the form of an expenditure on 5,000 postcards aimed at single women in the Bellingham area (many of whom will be from my zip code of 98225) and let those seeds yield fruit, even in excess of what might normally be expected from "junk mail".
The cards have made it clear that my faith in you (not "faith in faith") is important to me.
I won't lie to you --- I have been very angry at you recently, both because of the behavior of other Christians, and because of the enormous difficulties caused by having a body that no longer works as it once worked.
But the Bible is full of examples of people who were less than perfect, and who allowed their moments of despair to take their eyes off of you. If being perfect were a prerequisite for receiving a blessing, the only one qualified to receive a blessing would be your Son.
I've acknowledged here that inner beauty is more important than physical beauty. How do I define inner beauty?
A woman with inner beauty loves people --- ALL people, from racial minorities, to unborn children, to people with disabilities such as mine.
A woman with inner beauty values human life, and would die herself before she contributed to the evil of abortion.
A woman with inner beauty has the heart of a servant. Not the heart of a slave, for which I have no desire, but the heart of someone who considers the needs of others to be as important as her own needs.
Such a person will be a true "helpmeet" for me: Doing the kinds of things that my Personal Care Assistant now does for me, with the added spice of physical affection in the form of kissing, caresses, and actual sexual intercourse.
Help me to be worthy of such a woman. Empower me to resist temptations to stray from my commitment to this woman. Empower me to show her kindness that reflects the kindness that your Son showed to people during His time here on earth. Empower me to forgive her if she sometimes treats me as she ought not to treat me. Empower me to ask for her forgiveness, if the shoe is on the other foot.
Help me to locate the finances that will be needed for our wedding, and for our every day material needs, in terms of creating a happy home.
Help me, if this woman has children of her own from a prior relationship, to love those children and treat them as you would have me to treat them.
Help us to find friends who understand the meaning of friendship, so that neither of us will feel as if we are trying to succeed on our own.
To those who have read this prayer of mine, please join with me in the prayer. The Bible says, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."
If you know anything about me, you know that the desire of my heart is to be blessed with a loving wife. If she is easy on the eyes, I will feel doubly blessed --- but I understand that physical beauty is meaningless unless it's complemented by inner beauty.
Therefore, please take the seeds I have sown in the form of an expenditure on 5,000 postcards aimed at single women in the Bellingham area (many of whom will be from my zip code of 98225) and let those seeds yield fruit, even in excess of what might normally be expected from "junk mail".
The cards have made it clear that my faith in you (not "faith in faith") is important to me.
I won't lie to you --- I have been very angry at you recently, both because of the behavior of other Christians, and because of the enormous difficulties caused by having a body that no longer works as it once worked.
But the Bible is full of examples of people who were less than perfect, and who allowed their moments of despair to take their eyes off of you. If being perfect were a prerequisite for receiving a blessing, the only one qualified to receive a blessing would be your Son.
I've acknowledged here that inner beauty is more important than physical beauty. How do I define inner beauty?
A woman with inner beauty loves people --- ALL people, from racial minorities, to unborn children, to people with disabilities such as mine.
A woman with inner beauty values human life, and would die herself before she contributed to the evil of abortion.
A woman with inner beauty has the heart of a servant. Not the heart of a slave, for which I have no desire, but the heart of someone who considers the needs of others to be as important as her own needs.
Such a person will be a true "helpmeet" for me: Doing the kinds of things that my Personal Care Assistant now does for me, with the added spice of physical affection in the form of kissing, caresses, and actual sexual intercourse.
Help me to be worthy of such a woman. Empower me to resist temptations to stray from my commitment to this woman. Empower me to show her kindness that reflects the kindness that your Son showed to people during His time here on earth. Empower me to forgive her if she sometimes treats me as she ought not to treat me. Empower me to ask for her forgiveness, if the shoe is on the other foot.
Help me to locate the finances that will be needed for our wedding, and for our every day material needs, in terms of creating a happy home.
Help me, if this woman has children of her own from a prior relationship, to love those children and treat them as you would have me to treat them.
Help us to find friends who understand the meaning of friendship, so that neither of us will feel as if we are trying to succeed on our own.
To those who have read this prayer of mine, please join with me in the prayer. The Bible says, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."
Impediments to Romance regarding Transportation
At Barnes & Noble the other day, I picked up a book entitled "How to Succeed with Women", by Ron Louis and David Copeland. It had been recommended on the front cover by Leil Lowndes, the attractive woman who wrote, "How to Make Anyone Fall In Love With You".
Amazon says, "Intended for single or divorced men, it delivers specific, detailed advice on how and where to meet women, how to talk to them, how to ask a woman out, how to prepare for a date and keep the conversation flowing. It explains how to be a success romantically, revealing the five keys and five blocks to intimacy that can keep a relationship going or derail it completely."
One chapter I've already read talks about how a man can turn his car into a rolling "seduction chamber".
I think that's kind of funny, when I think back to my friend Buzz Stone, a white guy with a wiry hair who married a woman named Debby, with whom he had a baby named Isaac. Buzz's car was anything but a seduction chamber. Every time he gave me a ride, I had to look around to find a spot on the floor that was sufficiently free of litter to give me space for my feet!
For some reason, Debby must not have minded the untidy appearance of Buzz's car. She was a cute blonde woman.
At least Buzz had a car. It's kind of hard to turn one's car into a seduction chamber, if one's "car" is a Pride Victory 10 mobility scooter that sometimes runs so low on electric power that it barely makes it up the hill from the nearest Starbucks to one's apartment.
I'm not going to be able to turn a WTA paratransit van into a seduction chamber. They will take non-disabled passengers, but only if the disabled passengers inform them in advance that another person will also be on the trip.
When I lived in Chicago, for 19 years, I had a car for less than a year before I completely abandoned it because parking in my neighborhood was way too expensive for me. During that time period, I went virtually everywhere on the Chicago Transit Authority buses and subway trains. Fortunately, they had a pretty decent public transportation system.
When I wanted to visit distant suburban locations, such as the Gurnee Mills shopping outlet store not far from Waukegan, I took the Metra train. Metra trains were far more comfortable than CTA buses and subway trains (known in the local vernacular as "el trains"). Usually, during a long Metra train ride, I took a book I could read while seated on one of their nice, comfortable seats. (Trains had two levels for passengers, and bathrooms for people who needed to relieve themselves.)
El trains and Metra trains were acceptable, for getting to and from work, or for going shopping at Gurnee Mills. But they were hardly "seduction chambers". If a woman lived in a suburban place where no buses traveled, I was out of luck.
The bottom line, for me, is that I will never own my own seduction chamber unless and until I'm able to afford a car of my own. After some of the mechanical problems I've had with cars, I'm smart enough to know that a car might not need to be a high end car like a Ferrari, but it needs to be a new car under warranty, so that one can get it serviced if need be.
Amazon says, "Intended for single or divorced men, it delivers specific, detailed advice on how and where to meet women, how to talk to them, how to ask a woman out, how to prepare for a date and keep the conversation flowing. It explains how to be a success romantically, revealing the five keys and five blocks to intimacy that can keep a relationship going or derail it completely."
One chapter I've already read talks about how a man can turn his car into a rolling "seduction chamber".
I think that's kind of funny, when I think back to my friend Buzz Stone, a white guy with a wiry hair who married a woman named Debby, with whom he had a baby named Isaac. Buzz's car was anything but a seduction chamber. Every time he gave me a ride, I had to look around to find a spot on the floor that was sufficiently free of litter to give me space for my feet!
For some reason, Debby must not have minded the untidy appearance of Buzz's car. She was a cute blonde woman.
At least Buzz had a car. It's kind of hard to turn one's car into a seduction chamber, if one's "car" is a Pride Victory 10 mobility scooter that sometimes runs so low on electric power that it barely makes it up the hill from the nearest Starbucks to one's apartment.
I'm not going to be able to turn a WTA paratransit van into a seduction chamber. They will take non-disabled passengers, but only if the disabled passengers inform them in advance that another person will also be on the trip.
When I lived in Chicago, for 19 years, I had a car for less than a year before I completely abandoned it because parking in my neighborhood was way too expensive for me. During that time period, I went virtually everywhere on the Chicago Transit Authority buses and subway trains. Fortunately, they had a pretty decent public transportation system.
When I wanted to visit distant suburban locations, such as the Gurnee Mills shopping outlet store not far from Waukegan, I took the Metra train. Metra trains were far more comfortable than CTA buses and subway trains (known in the local vernacular as "el trains"). Usually, during a long Metra train ride, I took a book I could read while seated on one of their nice, comfortable seats. (Trains had two levels for passengers, and bathrooms for people who needed to relieve themselves.)
El trains and Metra trains were acceptable, for getting to and from work, or for going shopping at Gurnee Mills. But they were hardly "seduction chambers". If a woman lived in a suburban place where no buses traveled, I was out of luck.
The bottom line, for me, is that I will never own my own seduction chamber unless and until I'm able to afford a car of my own. After some of the mechanical problems I've had with cars, I'm smart enough to know that a car might not need to be a high end car like a Ferrari, but it needs to be a new car under warranty, so that one can get it serviced if need be.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Interesting Questions to Stimulate Conversations
On 6-10-2016, I visited the Barnes & Noble store in Bellingham. Their WiFi was down, unfortunately, so I had the opportunity to check out some interesting looking books. One was a kind of lined journal, filled with various "writing prompts" (500 altogether). Some were kind of silly, but others struck me as great questions or prompts that could be shared with women I happened to date:
I liked these questions and prompts, so I thought of a number of my own:
If my marketing campaign to meet women for actual dates succeeds, and if they provide me with their e-mail addresses, I may very well suggest that they read this blog post and think of their own answers. It should be interesting, as an exercise in "values clarification", and as a possible way to highlight incompatibilities.
- Do you believe in soul mates?
- What is your definition of a soul mate?
- What do you think you are missing, that prevents you from living life to the fullest?
- Describe your perfect romantic date (scene, setting and person).
- Have you ever felt stuck? What made you feel that way? How did you get "unstuck"? (I would add if you did get unstuck.)
- Name something you would never compromise on. Why?
- What did you like most about school?
- What did you like least about school?
- Did you attend public school, private school, or a combination of the two?
- Were you ever home schooled? If so, did you find it beneficial --- or not? What were the pluses and minuses?
- Did you ever have to deal with bullies, as a target of the same? If so, what form did the bullying take, and who did it to you?
- Were you ever a bully? If so, how do you feel about that now?
- How would you comfort or advise a child who was tormented by bullies?
- Can a parent ever bully a child?
- How do you feel about corporal (physical) punishment of a child? Is it ever appropriate? If so, under what circumstances might it be appropriate?
- Did you get good grades?
- What subjects did you do best in?
- What subjects did you do worst in?
- Tell me about your siblings, if you had any. Were they what you wanted or expected them to be?
- Did you get along well with your siblings, or did you fight or have serious conflicts with them?
- Tell me about your grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other extended family members. Which extended family members did you like the most? Which extended family members did you like the least? Why?
- Did you have nightmares as a child? If so, did those ever stop, or do you still have them? How often?
- What were holidays like in your home? Are your holiday memories primarily positive, or do the negative memories outweigh the positive ones?
- What holidays are your favorite ones? Why?
- Did your family travel much? Where? How far?
- Do you prefer road trips, air travel, or some other type of travel? Explain your preferences.
- If spouses strongly disagree about important things --- e.g., childcare, finances, sex, food, housekeeping, living arrangements, etc. --- how should those conflicts be resolved?
- If you feared that your marriage was so far gone that you were at risk of separation or divorce, would you see a counselor with your spouse? What would you look for in a marriage counselor?
- What does the word "submission" mean to you, in relation to marriage? Is there any objective basis for your definition of that term? If so, please explain what that basis is.
- Is it ever OK for a woman to commit physical violence against her husband? If so, under what circumstances is it OK for her to do so?
- Talk about what forgiveness means to you. Is there ever an offense so serious that it's "unforgiveable"? Does genuine forgiveness preclude holding people accountable for the future?
- Should a person who wants to be forgiven have to do or say anything to receive forgiveness, or should that person simply take forgiveness for granted?
- Please talk about what promises mean to you. Are there ever any valid reasons for breaking promises? If so, what would constitute a valid reason for breaking a promise?
A Crazy Question
Marni Kimrys has posted a video consisting of questions designed to stimulate conversation with women, when one meets them at events like Speed Dating meetings. Here's a sample:
"What embarrassing incident would you absolutely refuse to tell me about? No, go on, you can tell me, I feel we’ve become close. (If he/she tells you, and the date doesn’t work out, then you can always post it on the internet.)"
Maybe it's just me, but I think it's ridiculous to think that a woman would actually answer this question --- especially if she knew that her disclosure might end up on the World Wide Web, if the date didn't "work out". What part of "absolutely" does she not understand.
That's not to say that it isn't a good idea to think of intriguing questions to ask potential love interests, when one meets them for the first time. But surely, Marni could have thought of better questions to ask.
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Nice Guys versus Bad Boys
There's a funny video at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfeys7Jfnx8 about the idea that girls and women prefer "bad boys", while dating and seeking partners. The singer says that he has decided to treat his woman "like trash", even though it's not really what he wants to do.
This is very relevant to my situation, because I've always tried to be a "nice guy". My Postcard Mania campaign to find a wife specifically promotes that reality, by describing me as a nice guy.
But what does it mean to be a "nice guy", in the context of a dating relationship?
Here's what it means, to me:
When I make a promise, I try to keep it. There are extenuating circumstances that sometimes justify broken promises --- such as pledges to donate money to nonprofit groups, made prior to losing the ability to make such donations after losing one's job --- but incessantly breaking promises for frivolous reasons is despicable, in my opinion.
When a woman wants to unload on me because she's had an extremely bad day, I try to treat her as I'd want her to treat me in a similar situation. I try to offer a sympathetic ear --- although sympathy does not necessarily mean that I won't sometimes suggest that she things she might have done wrong, or how she might make things better in the future.
Here's what it most definitely does NOT mean to me:
Being a "nice guy" doesn't mean telling a woman what she clearly wants to hear, even though it's the total opposite of what one actually believes.
An extremely relevant example, for me, is anything related to the abortion issue. On that issue, my personal integrity matters a whole lot more to me than getting into any woman's pants.
To anyone reading this particular blog post, I want to say that I will be determined about my belief in the evil of abortion, until the day that I die.
I am opposed to genuine racism and sexism. I am certainly no misogynist. But there is no need to choose between women's rights and the rights of unborn children to be protected from lethal assault.
In fact, in a video entitled "Atheists Against Abortion", a woman named Ashley Sullivan points out that countries such as China --- where girls are specifically targeted for abortions --- are incredibly sexist. Regarding such "sex selection abortions", she says, "If that's not an issue for feminists, I don't know what is." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFfNUBypo2k
There are men who think that abortion is a "woman's right". Fine. You're free to date, and possibly marry, such men. I have ZERO INTEREST in ever having an erotic relationship with you.
Constantly arguing with a woman, about something that means that much to me, would make me miserable. If your idea of reforming a man is to convert him to an abortion advocate, I have these simple words of advice to you: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.
Having said that, I will add that I think it's ridiculous when men constantly argue about everything, no matter how trivial.
Abortion is literally a "life and death issue". One's choice of restaurants is anything but a life and death issue.
I might express my preference, but it's only a preference. I'm extremely flexible about such things, provided that I have the economic ability to pay for the meals served by particular restaurants.
This is very relevant to my situation, because I've always tried to be a "nice guy". My Postcard Mania campaign to find a wife specifically promotes that reality, by describing me as a nice guy.
But what does it mean to be a "nice guy", in the context of a dating relationship?
Here's what it means, to me:
When I make a promise, I try to keep it. There are extenuating circumstances that sometimes justify broken promises --- such as pledges to donate money to nonprofit groups, made prior to losing the ability to make such donations after losing one's job --- but incessantly breaking promises for frivolous reasons is despicable, in my opinion.
When a woman wants to unload on me because she's had an extremely bad day, I try to treat her as I'd want her to treat me in a similar situation. I try to offer a sympathetic ear --- although sympathy does not necessarily mean that I won't sometimes suggest that she things she might have done wrong, or how she might make things better in the future.
Here's what it most definitely does NOT mean to me:
Being a "nice guy" doesn't mean telling a woman what she clearly wants to hear, even though it's the total opposite of what one actually believes.
An extremely relevant example, for me, is anything related to the abortion issue. On that issue, my personal integrity matters a whole lot more to me than getting into any woman's pants.
To anyone reading this particular blog post, I want to say that I will be determined about my belief in the evil of abortion, until the day that I die.
I am opposed to genuine racism and sexism. I am certainly no misogynist. But there is no need to choose between women's rights and the rights of unborn children to be protected from lethal assault.
In fact, in a video entitled "Atheists Against Abortion", a woman named Ashley Sullivan points out that countries such as China --- where girls are specifically targeted for abortions --- are incredibly sexist. Regarding such "sex selection abortions", she says, "If that's not an issue for feminists, I don't know what is." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFfNUBypo2k
There are men who think that abortion is a "woman's right". Fine. You're free to date, and possibly marry, such men. I have ZERO INTEREST in ever having an erotic relationship with you.
Constantly arguing with a woman, about something that means that much to me, would make me miserable. If your idea of reforming a man is to convert him to an abortion advocate, I have these simple words of advice to you: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.
Having said that, I will add that I think it's ridiculous when men constantly argue about everything, no matter how trivial.
Abortion is literally a "life and death issue". One's choice of restaurants is anything but a life and death issue.
I might express my preference, but it's only a preference. I'm extremely flexible about such things, provided that I have the economic ability to pay for the meals served by particular restaurants.
Regarding For Better or Worse in Relation to My Postcard
I'm currently using a direct mail postcard purchased from Postcard Mania to publicize my strong desire for a wife. That is undoubtedly a "thinking outside the box" solution to the problem of loneliness, and it may even strike a few people as desperate, so I think I need to explain that card and its contents.
The card says, "I'm looking for a Christian woman for companionship and maybe to share the rest of my life with."
I was thinking that the card used the word, "friendship", and I was a bit ambivalent about the company's choice of that word. Yes, I most certainly want a friend, if by "friend", one means "as opposed to an enemy".
The trouble is that there are books about dating which declare that it is a big mistake to allow a woman to think of one primarily as a therapist or as a friend.
Therapists are the people that their clients talk to about all of their problems, not the people those same people go to when they want to do fun things. Consequently, people find it difficult to develop passionate, amorous feelings for their therapists. Therapists who cross the line and attempt to establish erotic relationships with their patients risk being charged with malpractice. It's somewhat comparable to the way that some hypnotists have been accused of using hypnosis as a means of overriding their clients' free will so they can rape them.
The "just friends" phenomenon is a trap, for men or women who want to be seen as potential lovers. This article addresses that significant problem. It says that one wants to avoid "the friend zone" like the plague.
Women tend to think of the word "platonic" when thinking about the word "friend". Despite the modern term "friends with benefits", people do not generally have sexual intercourse with their friends, no matter how close they may be. They don't marry them.
The reason why people have traditionally taken marriage vows is that there are times in even the best marriages when people feel less than thrilled about their relationships with their spouses. OBVIOUSLY, people need to address such problems when they arise, as they almost inevitably will.
Many people say that marriage is a contract. Certainly, that's true in the legal sense. But it misses the biblical understanding of marriage. The word "covenant" comes closer to the heart of the matter. This link leads to an article called "Does Your Marriage Function As A Contract Or A Covenant?"
When people sign contracts, it's so they can protect their rights. Married people have obligations to one another, but they err when they focus on their rights. They adhere to a self-centered paradigm that has been the death of many marriages.
That said, a marriage based on concealment of unpleasant realities is bound to fail. So what would it mean for a woman to pledge "'til death do us part" to this PARTICULAR man?
It would mean that she would have to deal with the fact that I'm no longer in excellent physical condition. Not that I was ever really a jock or a stud, since I generally preferred intellectual and artistic things to athletic things! However, multiple strokes (four at last count) have pretty much guaranteed that I'll never run a marathon or play on a basketball court again.
There's nothing on the postcard designed for me that talks about my physical disability, so I'm hoping that I will have a chance to point women to this article before we ever meet for a physical date.
If she sends me an e-mail, I'll be able to send her a link to the article, and she'll have no excuse for thinking "ooh, I wasn't prepared for this" when she sees my mobility scooter for the first time.
The card says, "I'm looking for a Christian woman for companionship and maybe to share the rest of my life with."
I was thinking that the card used the word, "friendship", and I was a bit ambivalent about the company's choice of that word. Yes, I most certainly want a friend, if by "friend", one means "as opposed to an enemy".
The trouble is that there are books about dating which declare that it is a big mistake to allow a woman to think of one primarily as a therapist or as a friend.
Therapists are the people that their clients talk to about all of their problems, not the people those same people go to when they want to do fun things. Consequently, people find it difficult to develop passionate, amorous feelings for their therapists. Therapists who cross the line and attempt to establish erotic relationships with their patients risk being charged with malpractice. It's somewhat comparable to the way that some hypnotists have been accused of using hypnosis as a means of overriding their clients' free will so they can rape them.
The "just friends" phenomenon is a trap, for men or women who want to be seen as potential lovers. This article addresses that significant problem. It says that one wants to avoid "the friend zone" like the plague.
Women tend to think of the word "platonic" when thinking about the word "friend". Despite the modern term "friends with benefits", people do not generally have sexual intercourse with their friends, no matter how close they may be. They don't marry them.
The reason why people have traditionally taken marriage vows is that there are times in even the best marriages when people feel less than thrilled about their relationships with their spouses. OBVIOUSLY, people need to address such problems when they arise, as they almost inevitably will.
Many people say that marriage is a contract. Certainly, that's true in the legal sense. But it misses the biblical understanding of marriage. The word "covenant" comes closer to the heart of the matter. This link leads to an article called "Does Your Marriage Function As A Contract Or A Covenant?"
When people sign contracts, it's so they can protect their rights. Married people have obligations to one another, but they err when they focus on their rights. They adhere to a self-centered paradigm that has been the death of many marriages.
That said, a marriage based on concealment of unpleasant realities is bound to fail. So what would it mean for a woman to pledge "'til death do us part" to this PARTICULAR man?
It would mean that she would have to deal with the fact that I'm no longer in excellent physical condition. Not that I was ever really a jock or a stud, since I generally preferred intellectual and artistic things to athletic things! However, multiple strokes (four at last count) have pretty much guaranteed that I'll never run a marathon or play on a basketball court again.
There's nothing on the postcard designed for me that talks about my physical disability, so I'm hoping that I will have a chance to point women to this article before we ever meet for a physical date.
If she sends me an e-mail, I'll be able to send her a link to the article, and she'll have no excuse for thinking "ooh, I wasn't prepared for this" when she sees my mobility scooter for the first time.
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