Love and My Bucket List

This post appears as Number 28 in a blog that already has 27 posts on it. But before you read the others --- if you read the others --- please read and carefully consider this one. I intend to create a QR code leading to this one, so that that code can be printed on a forthcoming EDDM mailing to be sent out.
　
A while back, I saw a movie entitled "The Bucket List", starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. There's a good summary of the plot of the movie on Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bucket_List), so I won't fully summarize it here for you.
　
In that movie, Edward Cole has the wealth to enable the two men to engage in a series of adventures that other men with less wealth could only dream about.


I, too, have a bucket list. Mine does not require that I take trips to exotic locations, so it's theoretically much less expensive --- and achievable even by a disabled man who relies on SSI benefits.


I could undoubtedly put a number of things I would like to do on that list --- and I've done so elsewhere. I've always been an ambitious man.


But time has a way of helping one to focus on things. If I had to list just a couple of goals that would complete me and make me feel as if my life had not been in vain, these are those things:


ONE

I want to publish my life's story, in the form of a book entitled "Losing It". The book is now up to 460 pages long (at last count), telling you that I've been writing it for quite some time. I recently paid Infinity Publishing, having finally come up with enough money for that purpose.

TWO

I want to experience sex with a reasonably attractive woman, for the first time in my life.


That undoubtedly sounds like a fantasy to anyone who knows that I'm now sixty years old, and that I have a mobility-related disability caused by four strokes.


The fact that I'm currently being treated for skin cancer does not help any, although I have reason to believe that the treatment with Mohs surgery will be completely successful.


Sex without love is not ideal, by any stretch. However, I've sometimes toyed with the idea of visiting a brothel because I've felt desperate. I emphasize the word "toyed" here. I AM still a virgin.


Candor about such things is a poor recipe for finding a woman inclined to offer actual love. But I've never been the kind of man who believed in deceit. If I ever do find a woman to whom I can get married, she needs to be one who can handle honesty, including honesty about my intense commitment to the goal of ending legal abortion.

　
AN IMPORTANT ADDITION: It's been said that everyone has some kind of "baggage" which is brought to a relationship. Often, that term is used to refer to previously married people who have become divorced, and who may still be angry at their ex-spouses. It's also used, some times, in reference to widows or widowers who are still grieving their deceased mates.
　
Having never been married, my own "baggage" has a totally different character. It wasn't as if I didn't WANT to get married. It just never worked out for me. Therefore, I almost certainly have some residual anger about the manner in which I was dumped. I don't pretend to have been perfect, but I think that the primary explanation was simply the fact that life had not been good to me in terms of such things as my income.
　
The existence of that residual anger, however, does NOT mean that I'm angry at ALL women. If indeed I were, I probably would not DESERVE a wife. As it is, I believe that I very much deserve to be married.
　
I try not to make promises lightly. This is one thing I can promise: I promise to any woman willing to love and cherish me that I will return that favor. I will never "cheat" on such a woman.
　
If you've read this blog post, and if you think that you can handle the things I've said about myself, please give me a call at 360-201-6473, or send me an e-mail at mark_w_pettigrew@hotmail.com. I would love to spend time getting to know you to learn more about you.
　
NOTE: I recently downloaded software for Skype, so you may see the Skype symbol next to my phone number here. Skype is great, as a means of saving money via VOiP, as long as you call other Skype users. But both of you have to have compatible headsets. I don't yet have such a headset. The phone number shown here is an inexpensive, prepaid cell phone from Net 10. Therefore, if you call me at that number, you will be charged for the call. Just to let you know.

The Conflict of Interest Dilemma

It's been said, regarding love and romance, that there are "plenty of fish in the sea". But fishing in rivers, lakes or oceans is a piece of cake, compared with the challenge of finding a mate.


One challenge pertains to the obvious fact that people are not always available, either because they're married or engaged, or even "steady dating" with other singles.


If that were the only potential problem that might arise, things would still be relatively easy.


Workplace romances are often frowned on by employers. The worry is that a couple will go through rough patches, getting angry at one another and therefore finding it difficult to work together for the good of the company.


However, workplace romance is not the only kind of relationship that's seen by some as undesirable. Another taboo is a love relationship with a person with whom one has a "professional relationship". This is the "conflict of interest bugaboo". Is that female case manager who you often see attractive to your eyes? Can you easily see her as a girlfriend or wife? Hold on, buddy. She may tell you, if you ask her out on a date, that it would be a "conflict of interest".


If one is disabled, this may be a very difficult hurdle to overcome --- because the vast majority of women in one's social circles are professional case managers, if one is in such a situation. To be blunt, it's very frustrating to be hindered by such things.


For example, I visited the dermatologist yesterday to get some biopsies and to have the stitches removed from my last skin cancer operation. There was a new medical assistant there, named Nicole. She was very attractive, with cute little curls in her hair. If I had a car of my own (which is another problem if one is poor and disabled), I might conceivably drive to Oak Harbor and meet her after she got off work, to enjoy dinner with her.


As it is, the chances of that ever happening are slim to none --- even if she has no boyfriend or husband.


Even more frustrating is the fact that when one is nearly sixty years old, it's almost impossible to find a single, available woman at all --- regardless of whether or not one has a professional relationship with her, and regardless of where she lives.

It's A Heart Thing

 

This is a particularly ornate graphic of the traditional "heart" well-known to recipients of Hallmark greeting cards for Valentines Day.

 

If one examines the reason for that particular graphic symbol, one discovers that it's meant to be a symbol of a human female vulva. It's absurd to say that it looks anything like an actual heart, which is basically an internal organ that's responsible for moving blood about in the body.

 

Sex is an intrinsic part of humanity, to the point that psychologist Abraham Maslow put it at the very bottom of his pyramid of human needs (along with basic biological functions like breathing, eating and defecating).

 

Without sex, the human species would have died out right after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. It's disingenuous to suggest that sex has nothing to do with the existence of the Christian church, because there would be no one to fill church pews if there were no people on earth.

 

As important and elemental as sex is, it does not necessarily follow that all sexual acts involve the "heart" (a euphemism for the human soul). There lies the difference between wives and prostitutes.

 

A prostitute, like the legal whores at Nevada brothels like the Bunny Ranch, seldom if ever really loves her customers or clients. It's just a business for her.  A man who deludes himself into thinking that she will ever mourn his death when he dies is in for a load of heartache.

 

That doesn't mean that it is not understandable that a man might be willing to "settle" for sex that is devoid of real love. St. Paul said in I Corinthians 7 that marriage had been created so that men and women could experience "the joy of sex" (as author Alex Comfort called it) without committing the sin of fornication.

 

Too many churches regard it as unimportant to help single believers to find loving wives or husbands. They are more interested in "passing the buck" than in taking responsibility for their members. They are "guilt mongers".

 

If a Christian looks at pornography, he's in for a load of condemnation, even though the Bible says that Satan is the Accuser of the Brethren.

 

For any Christian who has sex outside of marriage, things are even worse. Nevertheless, Relevant Magazine recently published a survey showing that numerous young Christians were not waiting for marriage before having sex. If indeed fornication is an unforgiveable sin, there are huge numbers of Christians who will be burning in Hell.

 

Fortunately, salvation is not granted to people because they are perfectly pure. It is a GIFT, given to mankind on the basis of Jesus' atoning death on the cross of Calvary.

Reading is Fun

https://youtu.be/shpW_68JYy0

A self-explanatory video.

The Flip Side of Slut Shaming

I just posted a Facebook status, that said the following...

From the web site for Slut Walk Seattle:

Does one’s attire make one more likely to be a victim of sexual violence?

No. The notion that rape is sex, or about sex, is a common misconception - rape is a violent act about anger, power, dominance, and humiliation. Most rapists report not remembering what their victim was wearing, and studies of rapists suggest that victim attire is not a significant factor.

In addition, a study on victim precipitation of violent crime found that 4.4% of all reported rapes involved provocative behavior on the part of the victim, compared with murder cases in which 22% involved provocative behavior.

Sexual violence knows no demographic boundaries; the elderly, persons with disabilities, children, and men all experience sexual assault.

What’s more, most sexual assaults do not follow the stereotypical narrative of a stranger in the bushes: six in ten sexual assaults are committed in the victim’s home or the home of the victim’s friend, neighbor, or relative, and approximately 2 in 3 rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. Clothing cannot logically be a factor in these situations.

Finally, the idea that attire provokes assault is fundamentally irrational because sexual assault isn’t a crime of opportunity. It generally involves a tremendous amount of planning and risk. Rapists are not robots who instantly attack at the sight of flesh. They stalk, study, and often groom their victims for great lengths of time prior to the assault.

MY COMMENT:

If SlutWalk Seattle is right in saying that rape has nothing to do with sex, then how is it that a man or woman who expresses intense interest in sex can be called names, like calling the person a "potential predator"?

I do not deserve to be called a predator or a "potential predator", any more than a woman deserves to be raped because she chose to wear a particularly sexy outfit.

Sex with the Lights On: Men Are Visual Creatures

An article worth reading, if you're one of those self-conscious women who runs for the light switch whenever you're about to make love to your man.

http://www.dearvagina.com/sex-with-the-lights-on-or-off/relationships/sexual-health/

Perpetual Celibacy: How Realistic Is It?

There are Christians who argue that any Christian man ought to adopt the sexless lifestyles of Jesus and St. Paul, and to "embrace celibacy" until the days that they die.

We've seen what happens when too many men cannot handle the pressure to refrain from doing what normal men want to do.
The Catholic church has experienced an epidemic in sexual molestation from priests who took vows of chastity. A large percentage of those cases involved homosexual molestation of underage people, aka children.

QUOTE:

A new landmark report has revealed that the vow of celibacy taken by Catholic priests and clergy may have been the contributing factor for the years of child sex abuse within the church.

Issued by the Australian church's Truth, Justice and Healing Council the report states that 'obligatory celibacy' may have caused priests to abuse thousands of children and that priests should have 'psycho-sexual development' training.

The council's chief executive Francis Sullivan told The Australian that the church must now examine 'how individuals who have chosen to be celibate, can remain healthy and not begin acting out of a dysfunctional sense of self'.