It's A Heart Thing

 

This is a particularly ornate graphic of the traditional "heart" well-known to recipients of Hallmark greeting cards for Valentines Day.

 

If one examines the reason for that particular graphic symbol, one discovers that it's meant to be a symbol of a human female vulva. It's absurd to say that it looks anything like an actual heart, which is basically an internal organ that's responsible for moving blood about in the body.

 

Sex is an intrinsic part of humanity, to the point that psychologist Abraham Maslow put it at the very bottom of his pyramid of human needs (along with basic biological functions like breathing, eating and defecating).

 

Without sex, the human species would have died out right after Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden. It's disingenuous to suggest that sex has nothing to do with the existence of the Christian church, because there would be no one to fill church pews if there were no people on earth.

 

As important and elemental as sex is, it does not necessarily follow that all sexual acts involve the "heart" (a euphemism for the human soul). There lies the difference between wives and prostitutes.

 

A prostitute, like the legal whores at Nevada brothels like the Bunny Ranch, seldom if ever really loves her customers or clients. It's just a business for her.  A man who deludes himself into thinking that she will ever mourn his death when he dies is in for a load of heartache.

 

That doesn't mean that it is not understandable that a man might be willing to "settle" for sex that is devoid of real love. St. Paul said in I Corinthians 7 that marriage had been created so that men and women could experience "the joy of sex" (as author Alex Comfort called it) without committing the sin of fornication.

 

Too many churches regard it as unimportant to help single believers to find loving wives or husbands. They are more interested in "passing the buck" than in taking responsibility for their members. They are "guilt mongers".

 

If a Christian looks at pornography, he's in for a load of condemnation, even though the Bible says that Satan is the Accuser of the Brethren.

 

For any Christian who has sex outside of marriage, things are even worse. Nevertheless, Relevant Magazine recently published a survey showing that numerous young Christians were not waiting for marriage before having sex. If indeed fornication is an unforgiveable sin, there are huge numbers of Christians who will be burning in Hell.

 

Fortunately, salvation is not granted to people because they are perfectly pure. It is a GIFT, given to mankind on the basis of Jesus' atoning death on the cross of Calvary.

Reading is Fun

https://youtu.be/shpW_68JYy0

A self-explanatory video.

The Flip Side of Slut Shaming

I just posted a Facebook status, that said the following...

From the web site for Slut Walk Seattle:

Does one’s attire make one more likely to be a victim of sexual violence?

No. The notion that rape is sex, or about sex, is a common misconception - rape is a violent act about anger, power, dominance, and humiliation. Most rapists report not remembering what their victim was wearing, and studies of rapists suggest that victim attire is not a significant factor.

In addition, a study on victim precipitation of violent crime found that 4.4% of all reported rapes involved provocative behavior on the part of the victim, compared with murder cases in which 22% involved provocative behavior.

Sexual violence knows no demographic boundaries; the elderly, persons with disabilities, children, and men all experience sexual assault.

What’s more, most sexual assaults do not follow the stereotypical narrative of a stranger in the bushes: six in ten sexual assaults are committed in the victim’s home or the home of the victim’s friend, neighbor, or relative, and approximately 2 in 3 rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. Clothing cannot logically be a factor in these situations.

Finally, the idea that attire provokes assault is fundamentally irrational because sexual assault isn’t a crime of opportunity. It generally involves a tremendous amount of planning and risk. Rapists are not robots who instantly attack at the sight of flesh. They stalk, study, and often groom their victims for great lengths of time prior to the assault.

MY COMMENT:

If SlutWalk Seattle is right in saying that rape has nothing to do with sex, then how is it that a man or woman who expresses intense interest in sex can be called names, like calling the person a "potential predator"?

I do not deserve to be called a predator or a "potential predator", any more than a woman deserves to be raped because she chose to wear a particularly sexy outfit.

Sex with the Lights On: Men Are Visual Creatures

An article worth reading, if you're one of those self-conscious women who runs for the light switch whenever you're about to make love to your man.

http://www.dearvagina.com/sex-with-the-lights-on-or-off/relationships/sexual-health/

Perpetual Celibacy: How Realistic Is It?

There are Christians who argue that any Christian man ought to adopt the sexless lifestyles of Jesus and St. Paul, and to "embrace celibacy" until the days that they die.

We've seen what happens when too many men cannot handle the pressure to refrain from doing what normal men want to do.
The Catholic church has experienced an epidemic in sexual molestation from priests who took vows of chastity. A large percentage of those cases involved homosexual molestation of underage people, aka children.

QUOTE:

A new landmark report has revealed that the vow of celibacy taken by Catholic priests and clergy may have been the contributing factor for the years of child sex abuse within the church.

Issued by the Australian church's Truth, Justice and Healing Council the report states that 'obligatory celibacy' may have caused priests to abuse thousands of children and that priests should have 'psycho-sexual development' training.

The council's chief executive Francis Sullivan told The Australian that the church must now examine 'how individuals who have chosen to be celibate, can remain healthy and not begin acting out of a dysfunctional sense of self'.

Inappropriate Knowledge

Some time ago, a young (and not coincidentally MARRIED) Christian pastor from Bellingham told me that he thought that I had an "inappropriate" interest in sexuality, because I'd commented beneath YouTube videos pertaining to various sex toys.

"Inappropriate" in whose eyes? And when, exactly, will it EVER be deemed appropriate for a 58-year-old man like me?

Yes, I am physically disabled, thanks to FOUR strokes I've suffered In the past four years. But that does not mean that I have been castrated or become a eunuch!!!!

I know about a woman's clitoris, her G-spot and her "deep spot".

I know that there are medical techniques that can enable a woman to have more and better orgasms. One is called "the G-shot". Another is called "clitoral unhooding." In a recent e-mail response, Dr. Susan Kolb from ClitoralUnhooding.com wrote, "Clitoral unhooding works if there is excess tissue in this area.  G-shot works by increasing the area in the vagina so it can be better stimulated.  Neither is risky.  You would need to ask the women."

BTW, May is "masturbation month" according to several sources I've read. HAPPY MASTURBATION MONTH. http://www.mensfitness.com/women/sex-tips/may-national-masturbation-month

Movie Ads As A Promotional Option

To get the group Get Hitched off the ground, I need promotional options that exceed business cards, although those are a good idea.

One option is to run ads that are displayed before movies at relatively small local movie theaters, like the Pickford Film Center (http://www.pickfordfilmcenter.org/).

For Better or Worse, For Richer or Poorer

In the movie "Love Story", Ali McGraw's character chose to write her own marital vows. See https://youtu.be/4LH0lUap8fc.

I think that her character rejected the traditional vows, in part, because women were one day expected to promise "to love, honor and OBEY". As a feminist, she couldn't handle that.

But a traditional wedding vows are more popular than these "hippy dippy" vows. A standard vow (http://weddings.about.com/od/weddingvows/a/traditionalvows.htm) was as follows:

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

One can read other traditional vows at the aforementioned web page. Another says, "in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow". The part about loving in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad pretty much mirrors the part about health, but substitutes "good times and bad for references specifically to finances. It's the same idea, though.

In the video at https://youtu.be/qy7FOxhHGQA, the groom cries at the wedding. (He and his bride are both obviously Christians.)

I can REALLY relate to that, for reasons that are quite different from his. At 58, and with my mobility disability, it will be a minor miracle if I ever get married to an attractive woman.

Dating Over 50

Here's a video pertaining to the issue of age, in relation to dating. http://youtu.be/9J_bJqseLN4

As a 58-year-old man, these issues are very close to my heart. I freely admit that I have little or no interest in dating someone who looks so old that she appears to be a candidate for life in a hospice!

I totally agree with the woman who states that most men would prefer to date a woman who's 10 or 15 years younger than himself. I also agree that people should be honest about their own age, regardless of their gender.

Widows and Remarriage: About Tammy Trent

One of my Facebook friends is a woman named Tammy Trent. She's a talented Christian singer, from Michigan but now living in Nashville Tennessee (where so many Christian singers live). She fell in love and married a man almost the same time that she became a Christian. (She was very young at the time, but they waited until she was in her early twenties to get married, as did my own parents.) Her stage name of Trent was the first name of her husband, Trent. (Her married surname seems to have been Lenderink.)

YouTube has several Tammy Trent videos. The one at http://youtu.be/cX2_gwG6cSI tells her story, in relation to the tragic death of her husband in a diving accident in Jamaica. http://youtu.be/0AAwEEVi2W0 also tells that story.

Trent's body was recovered around the same time as the tragic attack on 9-11-2001. (That must have been VERY difficult, since most people were so preoccupied with the terrorist attack that they had little time left over for her private tragedy.) She also tells the story on her own web site, at https://www.tammytrent.com/index.php/about.

Tammy is probably not gorgeous enough to be a supermodel (e.g., Cindy Crawford), but she's still pretty enough for my own tastes.

The fact is that there are attractive women who are "available", some of whom have lost their husbands to death, and some of whom have lost their husbands to divorce. (Of course, there are also women who have never been married, but the number of such women in my own age bracket is so ridiculously small that it's hardly worthy of my attention.)

I am unlikely to visit Nashville in the near future, Even if I did that, the chances are good that I'd never bump into Tammy. But there are plenty of available women in or near Whatcom County. I just need to make a love connection to such a woman. I deeply yearn to do that. I've been single for my entire life, and I'm tired of it.

I freely admit that the desire to experience sexual intercourse is one of my motivations. But there's more to marriage than sexual pleasure. Having a "soul mate" is a matter of committing one's self to someone who shares one's values and interests to some extent.

Having a helpmate is not always a smooth experience, but I firmly believe that it's worthwhile, regardless of whether or not a couple has children, and regardless of whether or not those children came into existence via normal reproduction, or via adoption.

This blog does not have a huge number of readers, but if you're a widow or divorcee who longs for a spouse as much as I do, please feel free to call me (360-201-6473) or e-mail me (mark_w_pettigrew@hotmail.com). I'd love to share a cup of coffee with you, and possibly a nice dinner, so that we could get to know one another.

The Origin of Valentine's Day

I was moved to post this because my e-mail In box contained a Twitter message consisting of several recent posts there. One of those posts said:

"St. Valentine was beaten, stoned, beheaded and buried on 14 Feb 269 AD for helping persecuted Christians and marrying Christian couples!"

That IS a pretty bloody story, considering that we now celebrate Valentine's Day by sending out greeting cards (sometimes pretty cheap ones, if we're little kids just getting acquainted with the holiday) and giving flowers or chocolates.

It would seem that the part about marrying Christian couples helps to explain why we now associate the name Valentine with love and romance.